Cash Cow (A Rock Opera In Three Small Acts)

[Image: 'Squint' Front Cover]



Act I

Move in closer
Move in closer to the
Move in closer to the middle of the frame

Act II

It was a morning just like any other morning
In the Sinai Desert
1200 B.C.
It glistened, it glowed, it rose from the gold of the children of Israel
(And most of the adults)

The Cash Cow

The golden Cash Cow had a body like the great cows of ancient Egypt
And a face like the face of Robert Tilton (without the horns)
And through the centuries it has roamed the earth like a ravenous bovine
Seeking whom it may lick

Cash Cow, Cash Cow

From the Valley of the Shadow of the Outlet Mall
To the customized pet-wear boutique
From the trailer of the fry chef
To the palace of the sheik
The Cash Cow lurks
The Cash Cow lurks
The Cash Cow lurks

Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?

Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?

"I was young and I needed the money"
"I had money, and I needed more money"
"I was filthy rich--all I wanted was love. And a little more money"

Woe to you, proud mortal!
Secure in your modest digs
You think you're immune?
You, who couldn't finger said cow in a police line-up with the three little pigs?

Cash Cow, Master of Disguises
Who's gonna change shape at will?
Who's the eye in the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill?
Who loves power lunching from Spago to Sizzler?
Guess who's coming to dinner?

Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?

Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?

Who loves you, baby?
Who'll give you good credit?
Who says you'll regret it?

One yank on that udder
Will land your butter
In a sling

First one's free
Cow junkies take heed

Cash Cow, coming to getcha!
Because you think this is stupid, don't you?
The Cash Cow will not be mocked!
The Cash Cow's planning a coup!
The Cash Cow chews cud bigger than you!

Woe, woe, woe to you who blow off this warning
Perhaps you've already been licked
I, too, was hypnotized
By those big cow eyes
The last time I uttered
Those three little words
"I deserve better!"



Recorded Appearances



About The Song

From Squintlets, "The Lament..." promotional Squint CD, 1993:

The idea behind Cash Cow was that nobody would get off the hook. All of us are just one step away from sucking on the udder of the cash cow. [laughter] It's just like this love of money is something that is the monkey on all of our backs and it never goes away, so that's why I tried to paint the picture of the cash cow's coming to get you.

From The Flying Chicken, The Monkey Temple, The Cotton Castle, Campus Life, March 1994:

An appropriately epic ending to Squint, this track draws the parallels between the worship of the golden calf (the Cash Cow) by the children of Israel, and modern society's worship of money, power and prestige. A song not only for the rich and rich at heart, but for anyone who's been tempted to place their trust in the wrong gods.

From Cornerstone 1994 Press Conference, The Phantom Tollbooth, July 2nd, 1994:

I talked to a guy in Florida on the phone about a month ago, and he was a really great guy, he was probably in his late-20s, he was real into music and everything like that. [The] thing about naming Robert Tilton really bothered him. His heart was right, he just honestly, it just bugged him, and he wanted to know why I would do that, so I lead him through the reasons.

There are definitely times where I probably crossed the line--I don't regret that one. He asked me if I actually thought Robert Tilton was the devil, and I-- [audience laughs]


It's also like, at a certain point, these people--and it has to do with the thing with "Colour Code" and all that stuff, too--at a certain point these people go beyond where they sin and people confront them on it. It then becomes like it's in the public arena, and there can be honest differences of opinion on this, but my opinion on this is their sin is in the public domain, public arena, and it should be addressed publically. I think that people like that have such a profoundly bad effect on how people perceive Christianity that it's important to sometimes go right for the horns. [audience applauds]